The Redhead and Sports #2
In honor of the 49ers resurgence this NFL season (they are currently 9-1 for those unaware), I thought it only appropriate to post this conversation from back in the early part of the summer, when the lockout was in full effect.
(Scene: Me and Red at a bar. Multiple televisions on behind the bar; all tuned to ESPN Sportcenter. Bartender has just produced our adult beverages and overhears the following)
RED: I thought they were gone.
TEXAN: Gone? Who?
RED: Those guys (pointing to the television screen above the bar)
TEXAN: The football players? Well, they’re not gone; they are just on strike, basically. It’s called a lockout.
RED: No, no. I know what a lockout is. I mean the team in the red jerseys. What are their names?
TEXAN: (looking at television as his mind can see the impending conversation car wreck about to happen) Do you mean the 49ers?
RED: Yeah! They’re from San Francisco, right? I mean they used to be.
TEXAN: They still are from San Francisco. And what do you mean by gone? As in they don’t exist?
RED: Yes.
TEXAN: (staring in tandem with bartender; both in disbelief) Why would you think they don’t exist?
RED: Because they are bad. So the league people told them to go away. (With this response the bartender turns his back, presumably to keep from letting Red see his laughing. I mean, hey, the guy still wants a decent tip!)
TEXAN (stifling the uncontrollable laugh he feels coming) NO! They still exist. And why would you think that the league would tell them to go away just because they’ve had a few bad years? The league has no power to do that.
RED: Well, yeah, but they’ve been really bad for a long time right?
TEXAN: You mean historically bad?
RED: Yes.
TEXAN: (noticing that the bartender has officially walked to the other end of the bar, while shaking his head and laughing) If by historically bad you mean won more Super Bowls than any other team in football other than the Pittsburgh Steelers, then yes, they are historically bad. (Officially laughing now)
RED: Oh, well I didn’t know. Stop laughing.
TEXAN: And by the way, they were the team that beat your beloved Bengals when they made the Super Bowl in the late 80′s (admittedly, I was taking a risk of stepping over the line from teasing/laughing to a**hole; but hey, I like to live dangerously!)
RED: (shoots me the “you’re such an a**hole look; says nothing)
(The bartender returns to deliver the food we ordered and presumably to find out how the conversation ended. Red picks up her phone and I began to eat. I sort of let it go from there…until now!)



